[It's Freya's turn to laugh. She does try to puzzle out the sounds, but Anna's right.]
Those aren't even the best ones. The favorite of all my non-Straylian friends has got to be "I hope your chooks turn into emus and kick your shithouse door down."
[well, add her to the list, because it gets a smile about halfway through and then an incredulous laugh from Anna by the time Freya finishes possibly the best piece of slang ever.]
What the hell does that even mean? God, you guys really know how to party down there.
[She can't not smile. It's great, seeing people react like that.]
Cliff notes? "I wish you bad luck." Translation? May their chickens transform into emus and kick in their toilet door while they've got their pants down. Never heard anyone actually use it, but still hell of a phrase.
[that's real good. she racks her brain trying to think of any good ones to share back at Freya, but it's been too long. all she can come up with are weird folksy ones.]
If someone lives out in bumfuck nowhere, we say they live where the fox and the rabbit say good night to each other. All the ones I can think of are kind of cute like that. Or, like, weirdly pig-themed. German's like that.
[yeah, no, Anna can't even argue that. Australian slang is tough, like literally everybody from Oz she's ever met, which is. well, Freya. she takes much more than a sip.]
You know, same old. Getting weird memories about flying centipede robots and almost blowing myself up. Normal, everyday stuff.
[Freya hums thoughtfully, tapping a finger twice on the bar in the meantime. After a moment, she nods.]
Yeah. Sounds about right. That little game in Respatrum? Guess she's done something like that before. Got a vision later of goin' skydiving out of a falling plane to catch some other people with Bahamut.
[She glances over with a grin.] So about par for this stuff, yeah?
Holy shit. I still can't believe that whole thing happened. Feels like a weird dream, almost.
[that's what being high on adrenaline and maybe vaguely dissociating will do, she guesses. Jill comes back over and Anna talks first, reaching for her wallet and discreetly sliding over a tip that she's, uh, not hurting to give. she's not loaded from working the host club, but it's. way better.]
You been getting some of the memories I've been getting and you'd wanna drown your sorrows like this, too.
[of course, there's a lot Anna doesn't know about Freya, and she's still going to try to keep this a bummer-free conversation. but that door is at least open now.]
[Freya barks a laugh before she can stop herself, closing her eyes and shaking her head with a grin. Well, it's good that she can laugh at the sheet irony, at least. It actually was kind of funny, even if her humor was threaded with something wry and bitter.]
[Yes, she very much wanted to drown in a bottle--or hide, more like, and do something with all that turmoil coiled under her ribs, but Freya's written that off as dangerous weeks ago. She stays like that a moment before shaking her head a second time and taking another sip. ]
Tried to warn you. Still, not happy to hear it's that bad. Anything you need to get off your chest?
[yeah. she saw this coming and she was warned, but the reality of it all, like it usually is, has been a lot worse than just talking about it and bracing herself. she glances at Freya, a corner of her mouth turning up, and thinks about it for a second. about all of this. whether she's going to let her dumbass neuroses get the better of her and downplay everything.]
Her name's A2. The girl I used to be. And she's a robot, so I'm gonna be dealing with that.
[there's more to it, but—and this isn't downplaying, she promises—it's way too much of a mood killer to bring up here and now.]
[Freya has to take a moment to ponder that, idly turning her glass as she mulls it over. She hadn't met (as far as she knew) anyone that was inorganic in their other life.]
Wonder what that's gonna be like. [Waking up a machine, or watching bits and pieces turning to metal? Would she just not need to eat one day?] But you called her a girl, yeah? So she looks like you? Guess the white hair's part of that lot.
[Anna downs her double in one, because if she's gonna talk about this she's going to need the burn. maybe she won't go totally wild tonight, but she'll at least enjoy herself with Freya. she always does no matter the subject matter.]
Ugh. [eyes bigger than her liver. that's the phrase, probably.] Yeah. She's got white hair, and I saw a couple other people in another memory who have white hair, too. They're all robots, but I don't think they're part of the same team. [she really doubts it. she really, really does.]
I'm trying not to think about the part where I turn into one. I don't know how it's gonna go down and there are zero options I like. And however it happens, I'm probably not gonna be able to do anything I actually like doing anymore. ['cause why would robots need to eat, drink, smoke, sleep, or screw?] God, I hope they drag their ass on this.
[Freya quietly watches her throw back the alcohol, a little twinge of envy running through her. It's a hell of a shitty hand, turning into something like that.]
You could take up art. Betcha there's a ton of rich weirdos out there that'd shell out for something like, "this fingerpainting was done by a robot!"
[It's a wry joke, and Freya lets it hang while she takes another sip of her foofy drink.] Guess you can just enjoy what you can while you can, yeah? Or hope you're one of those advanced sci-fi things. Androids, or whatever? Think I've seen a movie or two where they're more or less identical to humans. ["In every way" goes unsaid.]
Yeah. Maybe I'll get lucky and it won't be so bad. Nice smooth transformation and all that happens is I don't have to worry about getting sick again.
[she looks at her glass, leans forward, and turns her head towards Freya. the idea of enjoying what she can while she can... she's used to living under a timer. metaphorical, self-imposed, nothing so literal as this. she said it to Minato earlier this month. knowing she has a timer on her humanity ain't new information. but...]
Are you saying I should act more like when I had that spirit inside me? 'Cause let me tell you, I've never seen you as thrilled with me as when we were doing that whole thing.
[She doesn't respond immediately. That's a loaded question to Freya's ears; no one liked being told others liked them better in an altered state of mind. The younger woman makes a thoughtful hum, leaning back on her stool and glancing at the ceiling for a few moments before looking back at Anna.]
I'm sayin' to be grateful, not go full-hedonist just 'cause you know your time's limited. [God knows Freya wasn't. A pause, as she tries to phrase this right.] You should live doin' things you'd regret not doin' while you've got the chance, not cram things into what time you've got left from wallowing in fear or self-pity. That make sense?
[Freya's had plenty of reason to think hard on that, lately. She also avoided the question.]
[pretty shitty way for her to have broached the subject, she realizes once she sees how much effort Freya's putting into saying the right thing here. score one for navigating social situations, Anna.]
That's pretty smart. Pretty much what I was trying to do for a while there, too. [not for... too many years now, though. it's been coming back lately, with the world opening up to her as it has since January, but. still.]
Sounds like you've had to tell that to people before. You got a lot of friends going through quarter-life... crisises? [never had to pluralize it before.]
[Freya shakes her head.] Nah. Just me. [Then a chuckle.] Well, damn near everyone's got it bad, thanks to intrusive other lives and my friends are losin' their heads left and right, but none of 'em have it like you, far as I know.
[She idly turns her cup in her fingers, cocking her head to the side a bit.] You want honesty? Yeah, I think back on that little adventure, confidence and spirit was a good look on you; think just about everyone'd be a little better off that way. It's how I live, so yeah, 'course think it's a great. Should only matter if you liked it or not.
[oh, good, she's unique. just what she loves hearing. she's gonna focus on the second part because it's easier to talk about herself than A2. marginally. she can get wasted at home after this because she's gonna need it.]
The parts where I was having fun with you and I was just letting adrenaline run everything were pretty great. I felt like I was living for the first time in a long-ass time. But I don't think it's a thing I can do all the time, you know? I need downtime. [time to recharge, to not do shit.]
And the only time I've seen you not like that was in the park a couple months ago. And you didn't seem too pumped about it. Are you just on all the time?
[ha, yeah. Anna forgets sometimes that other people can burn out, too, just because she's been that way for so long herself.]
Whatever you do do, it's obviously working. Far as I go? I'm just glad I could keep up with you for a little while. Helped breathe a little life into these ancient bones of mine.
[even she can't keep a straight face through that, but she just hopes playing this up will get a laugh, because talking about her own humanity is fucking morbid.]
[It gets some sort of reaction; part laugh, part snort, part eyeroll, but truly none of the above.]
You don't know a damn thing about ancient. Probably spent those five years you've got on me on the couch. [Freya's wearing a slight teasing grin as she take a little less moderated drink.]
What I do, huh? [She spins the glass between her fingers in brief thought.] Don't sweat the small stuff. Get off your ass and go do something.
[mostly in various office chairs, tied to desk jobs that were comfortable but drove her insane. she won't correct Freya.]
Well, that was my whole month. Guess I gotta keep it up in May, huh? Maybe start hitting the gym more often, too. [for however long that's gonna matter.] We can't all dive into burning buildings and chuck flaming support beams halfway across the room. Not that I couldn't if I had to. I just got these shitty lungs.
[why would she ever not pretend that she's super buff in front of someone who's actually super buff?]
And whose fault is that? [A quiet chuckle.} Luck's on your side; you wouldn't have to. Not everybody does interior, you know. Drive. Become a paramedic. Hell, be one of the volunteers. They don't make you do anything you can't.
Unless you're just diggin' for excuses. [Which Freya wouldn't mind. Anna was a very different creature than her, after all, but it seemed like such a waste sometimes. She'll encourage her to go find that grand purpose or whatever than wait for it to come to her, but Freya didn't expect much.]
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Those aren't even the best ones. The favorite of all my non-Straylian friends has got to be "I hope your chooks turn into emus and kick your shithouse door down."
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What the hell does that even mean? God, you guys really know how to party down there.
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Cliff notes? "I wish you bad luck." Translation? May their chickens transform into emus and kick in their toilet door while they've got their pants down. Never heard anyone actually use it, but still hell of a phrase.
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[that's real good. she racks her brain trying to think of any good ones to share back at Freya, but it's been too long. all she can come up with are weird folksy ones.]
If someone lives out in bumfuck nowhere, we say they live where the fox and the rabbit say good night to each other. All the ones I can think of are kind of cute like that. Or, like, weirdly pig-themed. German's like that.
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[A sip of her drink.] So, aside from almost gettin' yourself shot, you been up to any thing?
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You know, same old. Getting weird memories about flying centipede robots and almost blowing myself up. Normal, everyday stuff.
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Yeah. Sounds about right. That little game in Respatrum? Guess she's done something like that before. Got a vision later of goin' skydiving out of a falling plane to catch some other people with Bahamut.
[She glances over with a grin.] So about par for this stuff, yeah?
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[that's what being high on adrenaline and maybe vaguely dissociating will do, she guesses. Jill comes back over and Anna talks first, reaching for her wallet and discreetly sliding over a tip that she's, uh, not hurting to give. she's not loaded from working the host club, but it's. way better.]
Double of the strongest stuff you have.
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Trying to keep it so you can walk out, huh? [Another sip of her own drink, and teasingly,] You want me to carry you home that badly, more like.
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[of course, there's a lot Anna doesn't know about Freya, and she's still going to try to keep this a bummer-free conversation. but that door is at least open now.]
I'll be able to make it home. Promise.
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[Yes, she very much wanted to drown in a bottle--or hide, more like, and do something with all that turmoil coiled under her ribs, but Freya's written that off as dangerous weeks ago. She stays like that a moment before shaking her head a second time and taking another sip. ]
Tried to warn you. Still, not happy to hear it's that bad. Anything you need to get off your chest?
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Her name's A2. The girl I used to be. And she's a robot, so I'm gonna be dealing with that.
[there's more to it, but—and this isn't downplaying, she promises—it's way too much of a mood killer to bring up here and now.]
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[Freya has to take a moment to ponder that, idly turning her glass as she mulls it over. She hadn't met (as far as she knew) anyone that was inorganic in their other life.]
Wonder what that's gonna be like. [Waking up a machine, or watching bits and pieces turning to metal? Would she just not need to eat one day?] But you called her a girl, yeah? So she looks like you? Guess the white hair's part of that lot.
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Ugh. [eyes bigger than her liver. that's the phrase, probably.] Yeah. She's got white hair, and I saw a couple other people in another memory who have white hair, too. They're all robots, but I don't think they're part of the same team. [she really doubts it. she really, really does.]
I'm trying not to think about the part where I turn into one. I don't know how it's gonna go down and there are zero options I like. And however it happens, I'm probably not gonna be able to do anything I actually like doing anymore. ['cause why would robots need to eat, drink, smoke, sleep, or screw?] God, I hope they drag their ass on this.
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You could take up art. Betcha there's a ton of rich weirdos out there that'd shell out for something like, "this fingerpainting was done by a robot!"
[It's a wry joke, and Freya lets it hang while she takes another sip of her foofy drink.] Guess you can just enjoy what you can while you can, yeah? Or hope you're one of those advanced sci-fi things. Androids, or whatever? Think I've seen a movie or two where they're more or less identical to humans. ["In every way" goes unsaid.]
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[she looks at her glass, leans forward, and turns her head towards Freya. the idea of enjoying what she can while she can... she's used to living under a timer. metaphorical, self-imposed, nothing so literal as this. she said it to Minato earlier this month. knowing she has a timer on her humanity ain't new information. but...]
Are you saying I should act more like when I had that spirit inside me? 'Cause let me tell you, I've never seen you as thrilled with me as when we were doing that whole thing.
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I'm sayin' to be grateful, not go full-hedonist just 'cause you know your time's limited. [God knows Freya wasn't. A pause, as she tries to phrase this right.] You should live doin' things you'd regret not doin' while you've got the chance, not cram things into what time you've got left from wallowing in fear or self-pity. That make sense?
[Freya's had plenty of reason to think hard on that, lately. She also avoided the question.]
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That's pretty smart. Pretty much what I was trying to do for a while there, too. [not for... too many years now, though. it's been coming back lately, with the world opening up to her as it has since January, but. still.]
Sounds like you've had to tell that to people before. You got a lot of friends going through quarter-life... crisises? [never had to pluralize it before.]
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[She idly turns her cup in her fingers, cocking her head to the side a bit.] You want honesty? Yeah, I think back on that little adventure, confidence and spirit was a good look on you; think just about everyone'd be a little better off that way. It's how I live, so yeah, 'course think it's a great. Should only matter if you liked it or not.
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The parts where I was having fun with you and I was just letting adrenaline run everything were pretty great. I felt like I was living for the first time in a long-ass time. But I don't think it's a thing I can do all the time, you know? I need downtime. [time to recharge, to not do shit.]
And the only time I've seen you not like that was in the park a couple months ago. And you didn't seem too pumped about it. Are you just on all the time?
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[Freya shakes her head again, but this time the gesture's vaguely amused.] I guess? I don't do anything special.
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Whatever you do do, it's obviously working. Far as I go? I'm just glad I could keep up with you for a little while. Helped breathe a little life into these ancient bones of mine.
[even she can't keep a straight face through that, but she just hopes playing this up will get a laugh, because talking about her own humanity is fucking morbid.]
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You don't know a damn thing about ancient. Probably spent those five years you've got on me on the couch. [Freya's wearing a slight teasing grin as she take a little less moderated drink.]
What I do, huh? [She spins the glass between her fingers in brief thought.] Don't sweat the small stuff. Get off your ass and go do something.
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Well, that was my whole month. Guess I gotta keep it up in May, huh? Maybe start hitting the gym more often, too. [for however long that's gonna matter.] We can't all dive into burning buildings and chuck flaming support beams halfway across the room. Not that I couldn't if I had to. I just got these shitty lungs.
[why would she ever not pretend that she's super buff in front of someone who's actually super buff?]
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Unless you're just diggin' for excuses. [Which Freya wouldn't mind. Anna was a very different creature than her, after all, but it seemed like such a waste sometimes. She'll encourage her to go find that grand purpose or whatever than wait for it to come to her, but Freya didn't expect much.]
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