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[ anna too? great. she's starting to suspect anyone that's willing to talk to her might have been a villain at one point, at this rate. but anna's not a villain now - she knows that much - and maybe it makes her more qualified to ask. ]

thats sort of what i was hoping
but i know it cant just be as easy as that right??
how do u make them keep moving forward

how did u do it

Well.

[it isn't easy, that's for damn sure, toga. anna is in a good mood this month, and how could she not be, so she has no problem strolling down memory lane. especially if it involves helping someone out. she's a softie for people who care about other people.]

First, I had someone who cared enough about me to kick my ass until I stopped being addicted to weed and booze and start giving a shit about the people around me.
So you can start with that.
But after that, it was just... a lot of hard work.
Rebuilding bridges, apologizing to people.
Trying my absolute damnedest to let the people I'd hurt know that I was sincerely sorry for everything I'd done to them.
And learning to be okay with it if they didn't accept my apology.

It helps to have someone there to make sure you stay on the right path.
It's draining, the work you have to do.
You won't want to do it.
But that's when you have to listen to the person you're with, the person who's telling you to stick with it. Who's reminding you that it is worth it, no matter how terrible it is.
The person who doesn't let you fall back on bad habits and keeps you tethered to reality, even on those days when you don't want to exist.

Or maybe I'm just full of shit, I don't know.

anna-san i rly appreciate it and that helps a LOT 2 know
but i didn't mean addiction or things like that
i kind of meant like
murder

Ah.

[well. she laughs, and she sighs when she's done.]

You're into Sayo?

omg
how many ppl has she told??
i guess it makes it easier but

yeah thats right its sayo

It came up. I don't think she wanted to tell me, but it just came out while she was drunk.

The murder thing, not the dating thing. I just saw a post she made recently and put some pieces together.

Anyway. I don't know.
She seemed, like. Ruined by the idea of ever doing something like that again.
She's in a lot of pain about it.
I don't think you have to do much to keep her on the right track here, but... it might help knowing that there's someone who still cares about her despite it all.
Someone who doesn't ignore what she's done, but still sees a future where she can grow and move past it.

oh yah wwwww
that post was rly cute...

i know that!
its obvious talking to her
but its still something she cant ever really take back you know
i want her to be able to move forward. i dont like knowing she feels like this
it just kind of scares me that i might be doing something i can't go back from

idk if i told u yet but theres a lot of people from my home
and all of them know me as a villain
the boy i like most treats me like a murderer
ppl i thought were my friends told me i've killed before

i'm not gonna do that ever
but i don't want them to even be a little right

I'm sorry that nobody here recognizes that you're coming from a different place than them.
They know you, but they know you a little to the left, yeah?
I'm pretty familiar with that concept, too.

In the end, though, I don't think you're proving anyone right by being attracted to somebody who's trying to make up for having done horrible things.
Maybe this is a little simplistic, but bad people? Really, truly bad people?
They don't worry about the moral quandaries of stuff like this.
They just go for it. They don't have gnawing voices in the back of their head like this.

I think your friends will come around.
It's gonna take a lot of hard work to prove it to them, but I think it's obvious that you're a hero, Toga.
You may not be one in their universe, but you are in this one, and that's the one that matters.

it doesn't feel a little to the left
it feels like a nightmare

anyways i hope ur right
or i guess
i believe u believe what ur saying?
and that's all i can ask. so thank u
it really really means a lot

thanks.
im gonna go think about things now

If you ever need anything else and you still want to ask me about stuff, go for it.
I'm not great at it, but I'm planning on meeting with Sayo this month to learn some more about her.
Why she did it and how she's trying to make it better and... idk.

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im so sorry

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