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[ Oh, no.

She's crying.

Yuri isn't great at dealing with tears. His default reaction is to leave, but he made her cry by asking, by prying, and he can't leave her here. She's such a strong person, and this is making her feel too much, clearly. And, hell, he's cried in Trench. Maybe these things just happen here.

Awkwardly, he reaches out a hand, then retracts it with a grimace. He doesn't want to be touched when he's upset, and she might be the same, so he drops his hand back to his thighs.

His voice is thick when he responds, cursing his inability to see someone cry without feeling something in return ]

You don't have to. I dunno, Anna, forgetting someone and letting them go, I don't think it's the same thing. [ Except he can't articulate what it is, then. He speaks slowly, trying to work out his own thoughts about this, not quite looking at her because his eyes are wet too and that's weird. Yeah, he feels something, but he shouldn't be feeling this much ]

You don't have to say goodbye to move on. At least, I don't think so. There was... my captain, when I was in the knights. [ He doesn't talk about this, not to anyone, really. It's years ago, but still raw, and his emotions are catching in his throat ] Niren. He was a good guy, but he died, to protect the rest of us, to protect his brigade. He believed in me, for no damn reason. I didn't give him one, but he thought I could be better.

I guess my point is, I still remember. I... think I get go, of the hurt of him dying, of what he thought I could be, but-- [ He holds out his wrist, a thick gold bracelet on it, with a hole where a stone used to be ] I still carry him around. I don't think it holds me back, but remembering him? It helps me.

Rose saw something in you, right? Maybe not the whole time, but it sounds like she loved you, and you loved her. Remembering that, that can't be bad. But that memory, maybe it can help you, instead of holding you back.

[she can tell, even if she's looking away and drawing the collar of the longcoat a little further up her face, that both of them are messed up right now. maybe not equally; yuri has a much stronger hold on things than anna does. but that's just the trend continuing, isn't it? people ten years her junior know how to handle this better than she ever has.]

[she rubs at her glass eye again. instinct, even after nearly three years with it. when she looks back over, she knows that the gold veins running through it like spiderweb cracks will be visible against the obsidian. she knows the word for it, but not much about the philosophy. if she did, maybe it would almost be poignant.]

The day I lost my eye, I was so ready to give her up entirely. They wanted to take every last memory I had of her, but I thought [sniff] as long as I could still be in the same city as her, I could start again. I wouldn't lose her even if I forgot her. Maybe I just thought it would never really happen.

['cause now she's here. she drops the collar of the coat and puts her hands down in front of her. she's not much of a wringer, but she doesn't know what else to do with them right now.]

She made me feel like I was worth being loved. And goddammit, she made me believe it. [she laughs, but it's thick and short.] She wouldn't be proud of me for sitting here crying about her. She'd kick my ass for wasting tears on someone like her, and I'd kick her ass right back for trying to tell me she wasn't worth it.

I just don't know how to tap into it anymore to even let it drive me. It just feels so empty here. [in more ways than one.] At least you have something you can hold on to for Niren.

[ Yuri wouldn't agree with that, if he knew she was thinking it. He doesn't have much of a grasp on anything, except that he knows he doesn't want Anna to be hurting.

He bows his head, feeling at a loss. Flynn is way better at this stuff than he is. He'd much prefer that monster come around so they could fight it instead of talking about their feelings. But talking is good. Talking is, it helps. Trying to go at it alone never works out. If only that lesson were easier to live out. ]

I'm sorry, Anna. I... people who see something in you, who love you, they're really something. She's not wrong, y'know?

[ His mind, of course, flickers to Flynn. Flynn sees so much in him, maybe not the same stuff Niren did, but something. Someone worth knowing, worth caring about, if not loving. Someone worth spending time and energy on, worth forgiving.

He knows exactly how it feels to not be worth that. But Anna is. She is, and he knows that as an intrinsic truth. Why wouldn't she be? ]

I dunno. Don't let me tell you how to do stuff. That's just... what I do.

[ His blastia brace, his hair, his sword. He holds onto pieces of the people he loves, the pieces of who he is, tangible proof that he exists, that someone cared about him.

Memories are one thing, but they aren't the only thing. ]

What if we made something? For Rose.

[ Maybe it's a dumb idea, but it could help, to create some sort of memento for her. ]

[it might hit him as a dumb idea. but as he mentions it, at the end of everything else—and she's not ignoring the part about how yuri thinks she deserves love, too, but if she thinks about that too hard she might not know how to speak for the next 15 minutes—her mind mercifully goes to that moment when she made a paper lantern with a little shitty drawing of her sister on it. and a message of love, sent out into the sky, that she hoped one day beth would find.]

[it's the act of creation, a more clear-minded and metaphorical anna might think, that helps the most. the way that even while you're letting something go, or while you're preparing to lessen some of the hold they have on you, you're putting all of that energy into something physical. something you can see, touch, hold, instead of a tangle of emotions inside yourself that nobody else gets to look at. that's why people write stories.]

[but she's not clear-minded, so she's not poetic right now. she wipes her eye one last time and exhales like she's suddenly tired, though she's doing fine on that front. which is good, because the hunt's supposed to be more physically taxing than emotionally, right?]

What if we did. [she gives him a look and a smile, remembering what they built for flynn. if there ain't a better example of her not being able to listen to her own advice.] I don't even know what it would be. But I like the idea of something I can wear.

[ Yuri smiles back at her at that. Maybe it wasn't a dumb idea, after all. Maybe he can help. She's helped him enough times at this point, he's just dead weight here, bringing her down. Maybe he can help, too ]

Well... "Rose," right? Not a bad place to start. Did she like roses?

[ It's simple, but sometimes simple can be the best thing. If Anna had some sort of rose, a pin or a broach or a knife with a rose emblazoned on it, maybe that would help.

He bites his lip, then holds up his sword. Even though he carries it around, he doesn't share this with other people, not really. ]

Guess I have a bunch of stuff for other people. This, this one's for Flynn. A reminder.

[ He pulls the sword out of its sheath to show a small engraving: The first one's for him.

Maybe the beast will show up any minute now. That would be nice. This is all getting a little too emotional for his taste ]

[it'd be nice. it'd be nice to just have the thing come up and ambush both of them. anna laughs dryly at the idea of rose liking roses, because there's a story to that, too, then watches him pull out his sword and show the engraving. it's sweet, is what it is, and she wishes she could spend some time on that, and she really, super, for real wishes she could explain all of rose's problems with flowers, but oops, her head jerks up and she pretends, in a way that she hopes is convincing, to hear something coming. she straightens her back and lowers her eyepatch again.]

Hey. Hold on, we gotta cut this short. I think it's nearby.

[she does not look away from the woods, but the longer it goes on the more obvious the lie feels.]

[ He pulls his sword the rest of the way out, turning to watch where she's looking intently. If the beast is coming, he wants to be ready.

But, after a long moment, he catches on. Right. It was too much, too much to share, he pushed too far. He barely wants to share his and Flynn's relationship with anyone, how it's shifting feels too new, too fragile, but he trusts her. And he trusts that she knows when she wants to talk, and now isn't it.

He doesn't say a thing, letting the ruse go on, the pair of them watching the woods silently for minutes, time stretching out in the silence, the sky darkening.

Then, ten, twenty minutes later, there is a rustle in the leaves, and a large beast lumbers out, its nose close to the ground, sniffing for prey. His hand tightens on his sword, and he glances at Anna, jerking his head minutely ]

[it's enough to feel guilty, honestly. that he goes with it so readily. that she can't help but wonder whether he actually wants to talk more about things, and if she just shut it down because she can't handle her own emotions. maybe right now she's just in her head too much. feeling too vulnerable and feeling like every step she takes is the wrong one. it's not an easy position to be in and she hopes very hard that it's just... the moon, or the cold, or the blood, maybe. she doesn't know. she just hopes it stops soon.]

[so she can stop sitting here in uneasy silence—silence that she never really grows to appreciate any more as her eye flits between the two of them and there's just steady breathing in the cold air. agreement never felt so uncomfortable.]

[she can't speak when the beast does finally appear, and secretly she's glad her lie eventually becomes the truth. this is the first proper hunt she's been on with another hunter, and her hand moves to her back to take out her blade as slowly and carefully as she can. her other hand tenses almost by instinct, like it knows that she's going to need the blood within it soon. just because her brain doesn't feel the pain anymore doesn't mean her body stops remembering it.]

[ Maybe he should have pushed. Maybe he shouldn't have let it go so easily, but talking about his own vulnerabilities, the soft parts of him that he protects with a vengeance, isn't comfortable. Being shut down only feels nature, a step too far for them both.

At least fighting, he can do. He can contribute that way. Yuri waits until the beast is distracted, snuffling at the ground, before he glances at Anna one more time, and smoothly pushes himself up and leaps over he brush they've been hiding in to sprint toward the beast, summoning up the scraps of mana in the air to throw a burst of blue at the beast, breathing: ]

Azure!

[ Stealth isn't always his tact, but right now, it seems like a good idea to get the first hit with the element of surprise on his side ]

[fighting is much easier, yes. she knows how to do that. she knows how to fight like it's hard-coded in her brain, because by now it is. every wire that is somehow pumping blood through her body thrums with life and electricity, and she cuts her palm open to coat her blade with the lightning that she's started using as her default.]

[she lacks a cool name for her opening strike, but jumps to her feet with an arcing slash that fills the area with the scent of ozone. the spark leaps from the tip of her sword out to the highest part of the beast, clipping a horn and adding smoke into the thick weight of the air around her. her corruption hasn't yet begun, but if anything's going to kickstart it, it's this. she can't deny there's a tinge of excitement inside her about it. maybe it'll be something that finally gets her feeling the way she used to.]

[ Yuri lets out a laugh. The beast knows they're there, now, and rears up with a roar. He skids under its legs and clawed feet and leaps up with another cry ]

Rising phoenix!

[ Flames follow him as he cuts the beast's side before slamming down on it with the butt of his sword. It's inelegant, sure, but it's effective, and he grins at Anna, glad to see her feeling this, too. Fighting makes him feel alive, makes his blood burn in a way it never does here, always frigid ice running through his veins. ]

[anna is trying to take the thing head-on herself; by splitting its attention, she thinks she can keep yuri more safe than he would be, but she'll only realize that once the adrenaline wears off. all she can do is muster a battle cry as she goes after its horns, trying to remove some of the more dangerous parts of the beast first. her swing is precise as she jumps up and slices straight through one of them, leaving a glowing, smoking stump in her path. the blade gets indented in the other and the electricity surges, turning the keratin-or-whatever red hot.]

[her arm goes up to cover her face as quick as she can, protecting the twisted smile she feels growing on it. between the cry of the beast as yuri executes his frighteningly coordinated attack and the sudden explosion of its horn into burning, bleeding shards, she barely remembers that they had been talking about serious things only a handful of minutes ago. there is blood and there is bone, and she's starting to feel a little more at peace.]

[in the light of day, that may worry her.]

[ She certainly isn't alone in that. Fighting is the one place where Yuri feels fully himself, where he lets go, where he's unrestrained, and it may get him hurt, it may put him in danger, but, hell, it's worth it. He doesn't question it, not really. This is who he is, this is what he's good at. Fighting, killing, he's worked on those skills, he's good at it, he likes it. It was valuable, it's the one valuable thing he brings to the table.

He barks out a laugh as she cuts off its horn, and its attention is split, lunging toward her with a loud cry. Yuri takes the opportunity to slip to its side and plunge his sword between its ribs. The beast roars, throwing its head back, and it's not quite dead, not quite gone, but it won't be long now. ]

[good. good. she needs more. that cry rings in her ears and thrums in her chest, and she leaps upward to avoid a fierce buck of its hornless head right at her. in the air, time seems to slow down as she grips her sword in both hands and points it directly downward. the lightning crackles, arcs to the spot she'd just been standing.]

[as soon as it hits the ground in front of the beast, she plunges downward towards its head—towards its eye. there's a rush of memory inside her that she may later realize is a mostly good thing, but right now it just fuels her, gives her this exact idea and the power to enact it. she doesn't want to cut right through its brain or anything, and she'll be more than fine lancing through its eye and jaw on the way down. the wound cauterizes itself on the way through, so there is just burning flesh and another shriek.]

[she's left her sword embedded in it, letting the residual lightning do its work and shock the beast into a state of paralysis. the killing blow should be yuri's, after all. he's the one who's been hunting it.]

[ Yuri watches her move, awed, and ducks under another swipe of its giant paw. It catches him, tearing a hole in his jacket, but doesn't get any more of him. Maybe stop watching and pay attention, Yuri.

He shakes his head, taking a few steps back, taking in the beast, still and shocked and he drags his hand along his sword like Anna taught him and decides, hell, why not? He starts running at it before leaping in the air and doing the move she showed him, weeks, months ago, bringing the sword down with a shout and a burst of lightning, cracking through its skull.

The beast keels over, and he falls back to the ground, his hair standing on end ]

Hell yeah! That was amazing!

[ He holds out an arm for her to hit if she wants ]

[it's her turn to stand in awe. she recognizes that move. he's learning from her? she's teaching someone? maybe not actively but. god. it cuts through the bloodlust and makes her head jerk back a little with the realization; the surprise is still on her face when he talks to her again. she hits arms with him and then finally seems to actually recover enough to speak. the beast itself is still keeping her sword warm, but she doesn't need it back quite yet.]

Hell yeah it was. Who taught you that electrified helm splitter trick? Whoever it was must be super cool and sexy. [smirk. that's right, anna. just pretend everything else didn't happen. she pokes at his jacket where the beast swiped.] Nearly got you for a second there, huh? That thing wasn't so hard with the two of us.

Y'know, she is.

[ Yuri laughs brightly, looking at the cut in his jacket with a grimace ]

Guess so. Man, I like this jacket. But, hey, we make a good team.

[ Even if the hunt hasn't been perfect, even if the conversation that was cut off sticks in his mind, he's glad to be here with Anna. He gets it, he thinks, at least some of it. Gets not wanting to be vulnerable, being afraid of showing someone the soft, vulnerable parts of yourself. ]

Damn right we do. We should do this hunting thing more often together.

[she heads over to the corpse and wrenches her sword from its body. she wipes the entire thing clean on her longcoat in a long, practiced swipe, then sheathes it in the bag on her back. eventually she'll upgrade that, too, but it works for now. the metallic stench seeps a little more into her mind, and she smiles with just a hint of menace behind it.]

Maybe I can tell you a better story next time. One with a lot more blood.

Hell yeah. Feels like home.

[ Y'know, if the monster isn't really a person. Maybe he should interrogate that later. He looks over the monster's body. He should probably do something with that. He whistles, and Smokey caws overhead, flying down toward them and growing in size as he does. He can feel Yuri's intention here, and picks up the beast's body in his giant claws. ]

I'll split whatever we get from it with you.

[ He jerks his head back toward the town and starts to head in that direction ]

I got some of those stories, too. Some big monsters back home, got some good stuff for taking them down.

[a very impressive trick, and maybe one she'll teach vier later. not that she thinks they'd be into it, but, like. just good to have in her back pocket.]

Appreciate it, but you did the hard work of tracking it all down. I'm not against you getting the lion's share. [she's glad to follow him, still high on the rush of battle and camaraderie.] Can't believe you were doing this for pay this whole time and I'm over here fighting monsters for free.

Hah! Man, that's something the guild taught me: never do anything for free. Karol got so pissed at me when I would.

[ He snorts and grins at her. He feels better, too, more himself, balanced against the awfulness of Trench ]

And I gotta make enough to feed three guys. You have no idea how much Flynn eats.

Ha, god. That's one thing I don't mind about living alone. I get to decide what I eat and when. Way easier to plan things out that way. [way lonelier, too, but she's ignoring that part.]

Oh hey, that reminds me. You guys do anything like Thanksgiving in your world? 'Cause I think that's coming up, if time works the same around here.

Man, it's been so long since I got to do that. [ He isn't actually jealous. Cooking for one is no fun ] You could come over sometime. There's always extra.

Thanksgiving? Nah, haven't heard of it. Is that some kind of festival?

It's this big thing about family back home. Late November, everyone gets together to eat a ton of food and have arguments with family members that you can't stand the rest of the year. It's a way to celebrate what everyone's thankful for in the past year.

[though, of course, anna would be coming at it with a little negativity behind it.]

I haven't been invited to one in a while. Mostly I just spend the holiday sitting around at home eating, like, turkey sandwiches or something.

[ He snorts a laugh at that ] So, you inviting me or what? I never hate an excuse to eat a lot of food and argue.

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