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[hauntedsavior]

anna amarande

31/f. happily ever after we lived, the end.

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[hauntedsavior]

It's... thank you, Waver.

[well, great, now she feels like a dick for digging up her old trauma when she's already told him that story. she looks ahead of herself for a moment, letting the feeling pass, and her gaze goes down to her hands folded in her lap.]

All I'm trying to get at is that, like... whether it's premature or not, I think it's still worth taking the time to remember his life and the time that you two had here. [sigh.] I never took the time to do it and I just ended up living in the past until it all broke last November. I don't want to see that happen to you.

[slightlytaller]

[ She wasn't an asshole. People were like the tides; emotions and threads came in cycles. Some themes and stories might repeat, but something always ended up somewhat different. Waver was unfussed by being reminded of Anna's story with her friend. It was good to hear it again, and be reminded about the possibility of hope.

Waver shifted, and glanced over at her with questions in his eyes. ]

I wasn't here last November. Was it the Zealots, or the Tower?

[hauntedsavior]

[and she smiles and puffs out some air through her nose, a little like she's embarrassed of herself.]

Neither. I just had an emotional breakdown in the middle of the night and decided to make it the network's problem. [she closes her eye like she's remembering that night.] I told them the story about Lillian. And because I was really in a fucking state, I started blaming myself for her death, even though there's no way I could've been even a little responsible for it. And that's when I met a bunch of people who were willing to sit down and talk with me about it until I could get some sleep.

But it's a nice little reminder that we can fuck up our own lives without anyone's help, yeah?

[slightlytaller]

[That... sounded about right.

Waver huffed a bitter little laugh and leaned his head on Anna's shoulder, just glad for the companionship.]

Totally. No one can fuck up our lives more than we can ourselves.

...I'll do my best not to make this the Network's problem. For one thing, I'd need to kill everyone if one of my superiors from the Association arrived.

[hauntedsavior]

Well, don't do that. More killing is never gonna solve the shitty way you feel inside.

[she means it as a joke. like it's an obvious thing that any normal person would already know. don't take it too seriously.]

Listen, Waver. I'm not great at this... and, like, you know that by now. I'm still figuring out how to feel my own emotions and everything. But if you need to offload some of your brain power onto me for a while, just, like, let me know, all right? I'm gonna double down on making sure you're feeding yourself, and if I don't see you getting some sunlight I'll drag you out there myself.