hauntedsavior | ic inbox

[there's a pull in her chest. it's more distinct than it used to be, but she doesn't know what that means. not here, at least; not now. except that it's important. she closes her eye and types with it closed, like that's going to help.]

They made us in their image.
What do you need to change about your programming?

Men are dead not because I didn’t want to act. It’s because I couldn’t. I had

a contr aͣ diction error.

How can I protect any of you if my godͩ daͣmn prograͣmming tells me not to, Anna?

[she has to open her eye. seeing 2B swear is something else, and she can tell that this is killing her. she doesn't know how to handle this; she breathes.]

Humans have the choice not to commit violence.
But the important part is having the choice.
They made us so we simply can't. Even if we try we can't interfere.

[this is roleplaying, now. this is just pretending to be A2. she suspects 2B knows. she suspects 2B doesn't care.]

There's a way to get out of programming you don't want. But it would be dangerous for you.
Do you still want to try?

[ 2B doesn’t care. pod keeps blinking an anomaly in her code. mildly corrupted files. she tries to ignore that, too.

she’ll run diagnostics later. ]

Better to try than to live m it down.
Would you be willing?

For you, I'd do anything.

[she surprises herself with how much she means that.]

Hacking can remove code thst you don't want.
It can erase parts of your programming that are too much of a problem to live with.
I know about it in theory, but I would have to find someone to help me put it into practice.

[ . . . ]

Thank you, Anna. I would, too.
I know someone. UN: rin says it could help.
I trust them.

I'll reach out to it.
I don't know the username, but if you trust it then that's enough for me.
We'll figure this out for you.

[A2 hit the same wall, but anna doesn't consciously know that.]

How else can I help you right now?
Do you want me to come over or anything?

You've helped enough already, Anna.
We're due to see each other. Let me help you, for a change.

Yeah. I think I probably have to catch you up on some stuff... might be good to just talk with you about it.
Maybe I can tell you more about when A2 came out and we can figure out what's happening.

Where are you living these days, anyway?

[ mmmm.......... yeah.......... ANNA...............they have a lot to talk about if it starts with m and ends with n!!! ]

A room in Prufrock. [ but after a pause, ] I might be looking for a place elsewhere. Somewhere with trees.

[ boar. moose. and so on. ]

[weird way to spell "woe" but she can party with it.]

Want to take this conversation outside, then?
It's been a while since I've had a nice sit under a tree to talk about stuff.

I wouldn’t mind.

Then I'll meet you around here?
See you soon.

[she sends a location in the woods that's near enough to prufrock that it shouldn't inconvenience 2B too much, and she heads out.]

[she's sitting under a tree when 2B arrives, looking at her omni and quietly listening to a song on loop. she's quietly singing along, too, but stops when she sees her sister arriving. she's dressed in a varsity jacket with "RU" on the breast; her back is pressed against the tree, or she'd be able to show off the "Recollé University" on the back of the jacket. she looks happy enough, if a little embarrassed even at the potential of having been overheard.]

2B. It's good to see you again.

[ nothing seems off about 2B on sight. if she had any repairs to do, they have already been done. she's just . . . not in black. she still carries her weapons at a hover, where they should be, her boots are fantastically laced and heeled, pod follows shortly behind— but she is in something with color for once. her visor is off. she sees the world the way it is. 2B does hang back when she hears anna's melodic voice ring. she was spotted, eventually— as stiff as she was with her emotions, uncomfortable at least.

well. paleblood didn't help her case. she inclines her head and places her hands in front of her. ]

Likewise. [ she felt much more than "same", but— oh, just thinking about a thoughtful expression frustrated her. ] What was that?

[ REPORT: That was Anna singing. You have a good voice, Anna. 2B lifts a brow and looks over to pod, like. hello??? ]

[anna laughs a little, surprised in two ways. one, that the pod recognized her; two, that 2B is dressed in something that YoRHa didn't make and actually looks real good in it. she pats the ground next to her, though she's not sure if she'll get taken up on the invitation.]

Thanks, pod. I'm no Vessel, but—ha, well, I guess I am. [that's a joke for her.] It's this band from home. No one knows their names or what they look like, 'cause they all wear masks and go by aliases. Feels appropriate for this time of year. [now that's a reference she thinks both of them will get, based on what's been happening down by the boardwalk.]

You look nice. What have you been up to?

[ 2B recalls the screen of her TV back in bunker, looking through what was left of human records. music entertainment. much like the amusement park or theater shows. band, a group of individuals who play an instrument and perform together. the black parade, a celebration brought about by masks and ritual play to banish ill spirits. there were millions over time, those bands. people celebrating. there were none in 2B's. there are plenty more to preserve, now. even if the android's face does show an endearing smile, 2B feels it within her; her lips aren't so strained, despite her seriousness.

she does, actually, find a spot with delay to sit upon, folding her legs and sitting upon her heels by anna. it wasn't exactly the invitation to sit that provokes it, but the fact that she was still up and anna was down. if there was any way to talk, it was on the same level.

she looks . . . "nice". she doesn't know what to think about that. perhaps the same way when she saw herself in the mirror, for the first time without a uniform or the local equivalent—?

maybe it was "nice". 2B agrees, mutually, with a curt nod, but she doesn't seem to have taken that as a compliment. only an observation, just as she has. ]

. . . Discovery. [ she could not begin to describe how wide a vision or topic that was, but her unveiled eyes are bright, alive, and ready for more than simply missions. she still has one. she still had a purpose, but. she puts a hand lightly over her chest, fingers curling into her palm to dull the bones to the fabric. she could feel the woven heart within it, beating, soft and amiable. ] I'm finding my place.

Is that so?

[anna looks over, turning a little bit so her body can face her sister's. she's happy. she really is. 2B deserves the chance to discover herself. anna notices that gesture and gives it a bit of an imperfect mirror; for her, of course, it's her silent signal to A2 that she's thinking of her. it's different, she thinks. it must be.]

What place have you been finding? [maybe she's being a little unnecessarily clever with her words.] Did you end up going to the same place as I did, maybe? The other Trench?

[might as well come out with it. she doesn't want to sit around making small talk when there's other things that they stand a chance to catch up on that are maybe a little more urgent.]

[ 2B sets her jaw and lines her lips, straight-lined and stiff. not that it would successfully hide the subtle traces of tension on her features— she was never exactly good at hiding things, as much as she’d always do. it helps less, when she not only feels more, but all of that is irritable as of late.

she is still confused, and all at the same time warmed to her core and icing over it with frustration. ]

For some time. I, [ it sounds fond, empathetic at the tip of her tongue; she bites it back. ] stayed, willingly.

[ but then came the hurt. physical pain that felt too insignificant in comparison. then there had been the mental anguish. that, perhaps hurt more than any open wound she would have. a few fingers curl at the edge of her dress. she smooths it out and says: ]

—They never showed us that side of humanity on Bunker.

Edited 2022-10-21 00:19 (UTC)

[anna nods along, thinking about the things in the other trench that she saw. the people. dinah. woe. the face-scarred man whose name she never knew. but she sees 2B's hand curl around her dress and she reaches out to place her own hand on the back of it. and she thinks about... more. about the other side of humanity.]

Yeah. It got... dark, over there.

[her black box heart is pulsing more rapidly, and there's anxiety buzzing in the back of her head, but she can't place the reason for it. she just doesn't know. if she thinks too hard about it, she remembers dinah, she remembers woe, she remembers walking towards the ritual, she remembers her saying—something, and then there's. there's black. there's darkness. there's panic all around her, the cold wet ground and a terror she can't name, and—]

[she's inside her own head, but her eye is wide, and she's holding 2B's hand far tighter than she means to. she's aware, awake, but she feels like her heart is going a thousand miles an hour and could explode at any second, and her head is pounding, and her chest is heaving, and she doesn't know what's happening to her. she needs help.]

[ 2B doesn't so much flinch on contact as she does go completely still— even any breathing has been held in favor of guiding her eyes downward at the weight upon her hand. she doesn't squeeze further, doesn't unfurl her fingers. it's almost as if she's treating the touch much like a spider has crawled on her and she prefers not to startle it to bite her. the reality of it was that she didn't know what to do. maybe she knew what she wanted to do, when the bundle of pumps, tissue and muscle inside her jump more than her frame lets on. the immediate act upon it is retarded, and such was the life of an android with too many feelings and hardly the impartiality to be comfortable with it.

but . . . anna squeezes. anna goes far, far away by the time 2B lifts her gaze and realizes. the pressure around her knuckle joints is tight. it doesn't hurt her, but she feels it. she does not pull away but now reacts, with a gentle hold that hardly means a thing to tension around it. ]

Anna?

[but the thing is that... the gentle hold is almost all that anna needs right now. she has someone here, where she didn't last time. and her brain recognizes it's different. she hears her name, and she recognizes it as her name. and she's... not stable, no. but she's not losing herself. her other hand slowly comes over and presses against 2B's hand too. her eye's still closed and her breaths are still shaking but she... she has help. she has help, this time, and it's fine. it's okay. it's good. it's good and she'll be okay. breathe. breathe like your lungs still matter.]

[she doesn't know how long she stays like that without saying anything. it feels like a while. she wishes it weren't. she's sitting there with her shoulders shaking with her breaths. it takes too long for her eye to open again, but when she does, her vision is cloudy. she's still looking dead in front of her, but her field of view is blurry and full of sparks.]

I'm here. I'm here. Sorry. [another shaky breath.] I think something bad happened down there. I think something really, really bad happened to me, and that's when A2 came out. Maybe to try to protect me.

[ she isn't good at this— but she can't recoil from anna. she sees her face, knows or at least has an idea of what's happening up there in her mind's troubled eye. pod picks up vital spikes, but reads the room enough to not comment on it. besides— 2B was already on it. ]

From what?

[ she should keep more of an eye out for her. she should be protecting her. perhaps she should've protected her, but where was she? ]

[anna lets herself feel the world around her. the breeze, the leaves, the tree. she takes in the smells and the sounds and she grounds herself with them. as she descends into her thoughts again, her memories, she pulls out flashes. she remembers—]

Woe. I met Woe, in the other Trench. [blood and death and rituals and cults.] I agreed to help her bring someone back to our side. And I said... I said something to her, and she did something, and my—[she inhales. she presses her palm to the ground and her fingers dig into the dirt. a moment, two, to stabilize herself.]

She did something, and my body stopped listening to me. It stopped working.

[ 2B had stilled, before. now, now the name causes her to freeze, inside and out. woe. woe, whose hands plucked her soul and gave her concrete reason to believe she truly had one. the hands that caused her to combust from the alien properties weaving in and out of her body. hands that weaved for her tissue, organic pumps, a heart— and the same hands that, after a breath of miraculous life, had sent her away. woe, who looked down upon her when she touched her face, and swiftly pried away to send her off.

conflict traps the gears that turn within her, and immediately she could no longer find a side to stand on. the feeling of being stretched apart, worried— torn. ]

Did she . . . Pull your soul—?

[ it's what she could manage to ask, with her caution. ]

[anna's throat feels dry, but she forces herself to hang on to that feeling. it's humanity. it's terror and it sinks her stomach and it's her. she shakes her head slowly.]

No. I don't think so. I think... I think it was...

[she's right there. she can get there. she knows she can. she just has to say it. she tries, and she tries, and her throat tightens when she attempts to remember it. and she stops after not too long. if she can talk around it, if she can lead herself up to it, maybe it'll be easier.]

The one thing I was most afraid of when I started getting A2's body was losing control of myself. I thought somebody could just shut her off like a switch and I would be there... I would be there helpless until someone turned her back on. And I think... I think that's what Woe did. I was... awake, I was awake and I could hear her talking but I couldn't move. I couldn't move at all.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

(*doesn’t show, for our future reference 😭)

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject